


Who do you really want?

by Loveforthestory



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Attraction, F/M, Hurt, Jealousy, Sexual Content, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Want, charloe - Freeform, the truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:31:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveforthestory/pseuds/Loveforthestory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie is on her way to the local bar because she  could really use a drink, after what Connor just told her. It does not take long before she notices a familiar black leather jacket in the corner of the bar. It does not take long before she notices him. Bass. Will she find the question to that one question? Will he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The bar, him. her.

**A couple of months after the war,**

_**Willoughby** _

The local bar was full. The familiar sounds of a busy town bar at the end of the day had already reached her and lifted her mood a little. It was probably written down in her Matheson DNA.

She liked the feel of her small town bar. It was not too small, not too big. The booze was all right, and there were always plenty of friendly faces. And if she was lucky, an uncle who made a good drinking buddy, a good drinking buddy and the one who would pay for all the drinking she definitely would be doing.

Charlie had decided she could use a drink, or even better, a whole bottle, a _gain the Matheson DNA._ More importantly, she could use some distraction. A lot of it. She had not seen, or wanted to see, her mother. Not after what Connor had told her.

_Stop, don't think about it. Don't. Just don't._

Charlie was not sure anymore how many times she had told herself this. She was getting pretty damn tired of telling herself the same thing over and over again, but it was the only way to keep make her mind wander to a place where she really did  _not_  want to go. So it was back to her previous strategy, which was very simple: lots of drinks.

When she walked in, she scanned the bar quickly. She heard the sounds of her boots hitting the wooden floor beneath her. No uncle in sight.

There was however a former best friend of her uncle sitting in a corner not far from her _. Dark blonde curls, black leather jacket. She did not know where on earth he had found that one. But it defitnately worked. It worked for him._ She immediately felt her body react, before she felt the wave of disgust hit her. His back was towards her. He was sitting at a table with some other officers, enjoying their evening with booze, stories and loud laughter rumbling through the air, mixing together with the other voices and sounds.

Charlie walked over to the bar, and ordered her first drink. She threw her jacket on the bar stool to her right.

_To hell with him._

She was here to have some fun. And that fun appeared on her left side, in the form of a pretty good looking guy she had briefly met on another night. He was all over her, maybe in a little too obvious way, but hey, she could not say she did not like the attention. It had been too long, and his warm smile and pretty funny jokes won her over.

When it was way past midnight, she was laughing at him because of something silly he said that became very funny, very fast, probably from all off the booze they had ordered.

He could walk her home, but she was not sure if there would be more. But he had made her laugh, and had given her a nice evening, and that was what she needed.

After she had grabbed her jacket, he put his arm over her shoulder. Charlie felt the rush of the many drinks she had conquered going to her head and through her body. She was almost out of the door with goodlooking when his eyes crashed into hers.  _His._

Deep blue eyes meeting hers.

_Bass._

He was holding a drink in one hand, elbow on the table in front of him while he watched her with an intensity that almost threw her off balance. When he placed the drink to his lips, she cursed herself because her eyes seemed to live their own life and they could not stay away from where the glass met his lips.

_Why the hell could she never not look at his lips?_

But then she remembered Connor's words again. She tilted her head back just a little, feeling how her eyes filled with coldness. She felt the tension going through her body and she saw the slightest of changes in Bass his gaze as a reaction to the change in hers.

She swallowed hurt away, which was quickly filling her throat. She heard how good looking whispered something in her ear, but the room had seemed to exist only of him and her.

_Bass._

_S_ he reminded herself again he could go to hell. Reminded herself of that very important fact, before she tore her gaze away from his and was out of the door in no time.

She could feel his eyes burn their way into her back.

_**3 days earlier** _

Charlie was seething with silent rage. She was sitting on the porch steps of the small town house where she had been able to rent a small apartment. It was not that much, but it was small, and more importantly, she did not have to share the four walls with her mom. As far as she was concerned, it was freaking perfect.

A night with her mother had pushed her towards her inner boiling point within a new time record. The evening had started out like a fairly ok on.

Miles had already consumed some, probably more than  _some,_ whiskey when she had walked into the front door of the small home her uncle and her mother had been sharing, and he was in a pretty talkative mood that particular evening. As far as Miles was concerend, Whiskey would be dinner. That was an encouraging sign, because that could mean some good stories she always enjoyed.

They had made it to the small kitchen table, when her mother had, again, started the topic of why she had wanted her own space. The  _soothing suitable for a 4 year old_ \- tone in her mother's voice had already set Charlie on edge.

She could have been happy for her. She could have. But instead, again, it was all about her. Like it always seemed to be. Every now and then Charlie felt like they made some progress, but somehow, things were on edge the moment she had seen her mother again after the long years she had left her, her father and baby brother, on a dusty road in the woods. It felt like a lifetime ago, and yet, the memory was so clear, so close.

Maybe some wounds were to deep to heal again.

Miles had tried to intervene, had told Rachel to let her be, but the tension in the air around the dinner table had been hard to miss.

It had not been different than some many converstations with her mother she had to go through when they were still fighting the patriots, exhausting her. It felt like the moment Charlie had brought Bass back to this town, things had only taken a turn for the worst.

So now, it was a bottle in her hands, feet playing with the dirt under her booths, her blonde curls over one shoulder, the last sunlight of the day brushing her skin. She was not sure if this night could get any more perfect then it already was.

Apparently it could.

A young man, dark curls, dark eyes, started to walk towards her. Hands in his pocket, his body language telling her exactly where he would try to take this evening. As far as she was concerned, she went there once, and that had been enough.

Well, the truth was that that one time had not been enough. Simply because her craving was not met. And there was nothing more this man could do to fulfil that craving. Simply because, well, he was not  _him. Shit_ , she told herself.  _Don't go there. Never go there._

' _Connor, what can I do for you?'_

She did not meet his eyes, mocking and a slight irritation in her voice. Judging his walk, she knew he was drunk. Not hammered, but drunk enough. She decided if she spent as little words on him as possible, he would take his ass home, like real soon.

' _Charlie,'_  his tone low, cocky, and when Charlie looked up, she met his grin, '  _Can I join you?'_

She sighed, and she nodded at the empty space to her right. She could say no, but hey, you don't hit puppies . As much as she tried, she could never bring herself to push Connor away completely. Again, you don't hit puppies.

' _So, you look rather pissed tonight, what's the story?'_ She wondered how his voice could sound so like another Monroe.

Charlie gave herself one last warning to not go there.

She gave Connor her best questioning stare, and raised one eyebrow at him. She took another gulp from the bottle in front of her hands and let the drink warm her throat.

' _Let me guess then, mother troubles?'_

He once had called her  _a whack job blonde_ , when he had just met Rachel, and well, let's just say, he had not been wrong, as far as he was concerned.

Charlie let out a deep sigh. She knew Connor could be a cocky and a little too full of himself jerk, but he had his kind side. And she could use somebody to rant against about her mother this particular night.

She nodded.

' _It's just, she is so completely convinced about her being right all the time. It has never been easy for us. I know I am not exactly a picture perfect daughter. But maybe for once, she could really try to see things from my side.'_

Charlie paused for a moment.

Connor watched her face. Since the day he had walked into the whole  _Monroe-Matheson_  dynamics he had picked up on the tension between Rachel and Charlie. He had heard how Rachel time after time, did not give her a chance. How she had placed herself between his dad and Miles, her little claws in Miles.

' _She can be one hypocritical lady, I'll give you that.'_  Connor knew he might be crossing a line here, but the booze, combined with seeing Charlie like this, made him looser then he had ever been with Charlie.

' _I am not going to argue with that.'_ Charlie looked at him, before she turned her eyes towards a spot in the distance. Her voice a little hoarse.

Looking back, that was the point where Connor wished he had stopped.

' _I mean, the way she is acting around my dad like he is the damn bad guy over and over again, even after she..'_

He felt Charlie tense up beside him at his last words.

He cursed at himself. He was not sure what he had been doing. He knew they would never be what they had been in Vegas, he knew that. But there was something about this girl, that made him want to stick with her when he saw she was in trouble. But the last thing he had wanted to do was hurt her, take on his own frustration about the  _blonde bitch_  on her.

Charlie looked at him, her blue eyes staring at him, making him uncomfortable under her glare.

' _After she what, Connor?'_

' _Forget it, Charlie, it's...'_

' _If you are going to say it's nothing I am going to kick your ass all over town Connor,'_ her tone was on edge, he knew she was not kidding.

Charlie put the bottle down next to her in a not so subtle way. Connor had heard her voice, he knew her stubbornness. They had already reached the point of no return. And maybe, she deserved the truth.

' _She... your mom, and my dad,appareantly they shared some kind of night in Philly.'_

Connor watched her from the corner of his eyes. He could see the sheer horror and surprise in her eyes.

Then he could see her face fill with anger. Anger or hurt, he was not sure. He saw she was trying to hide her hurt, but it took her too long for him not to notice.

' _What the hell are you talking about Connor?'_ There was disbelieve in her voice when she had thrown those words in his face.

Charlie felt like somebody punched her in the stomach, mid fight. Her heartbeat was in her ears, she felt a rush of adrenaline in her veins, she was nauseas and she felt slightly numb for a couple of seconds.

' _How do you know this?'_  She could not sit down anymore, and jumped up from her place on the wooden porch step, placed herself right in front of him, while she looked him straight in the eyes.

She crossed her arms before her chest.

' _I walked right into one of their screaming hate matches. They thought they were alone. I walked right into the middle of it, I did not hear everything, but it was all too damn obvious.'_

Charlie let the impact of his words reach her.

' _When was this?'_ It was out of her mouth before she even realised she had asked Connor. Somewhere her mind had decided the answer to that question mattered and had formed the question all on it's own.

Charlie forced herself to keep on breathing.  _Seriously?_  After everything her mother had been throwing in her face? How stupid and dense she had been for bringing Monroe back. For being in her face when she had fought that day in the re education camp along with Bass and her men. For every time his hate for this man had been the number one topic of the day.

So, there had been a night. She should be surprised. But somehow, it all added up in a way she did not understand yet.

' _Connor, when was this?'_ She repeated her words, but this time with more force, she was almost screaming.

' _The first day Miles was missing.'_

His answer was simple. The storm of emotions that broke lose inside of her was not. It knocked the air right out of her lunges. Her mind scanned back to that day. That had been the day with Neville.  _Neville._  Monroe insisting they had to split up. Her mother had never even protested.

So, right after her mother had been worried about her well being, after one of her darkest days she had ever lived throug,  _Austin,_  her mother had gone ended up in some screaming match when Miles was...

Charlie felt how she was breaking down, and she forced herself to keep a straight face.

_How could her mother..._

_How could Bass, Monroe, Bass do this..._

_to her?_

What, where did that thought came from?

_Had she been wrong about everything?_

_Had she?_

She was not the one who broke down in front of anybody, she was not somebody who allowed herself to break down period. But this time, she was dangerously close. Connor had to go. Or she had to go. It was as simple as that.

' _I'll think this is goodnight for us Connor,'_

' _Charlie, I am...'_

He could see her clear blue eyes fade more and more with every second she stood in front of him. He hated to leave her like this, wishing he had kept his mouth shut.

' _Fine, if you don't go. I will.'_ Her tone was flat.

She took the bottle of booze from the step and walked inside the house, closing the door behind her, without even looking back. She couldn't. Because if she did, Connor would see the impact of his words.

From the moment his father had raged on and on after he had found him with Charlie in Vegas, Connor had known on some level.

He had know that his father cared more for Charlie then he would ever admit. Looking out for her only because she was Miles niece and they had needed Miles to stay on their good side?  _Bullshit._

He had watched them, he had observed them, over and over again. Charlie and his dad. Challenging each other, being in each other's face, looks and gazes that made him wonder when his father would throw her against a wall and get it over with. Never denying anything when Gould  _and_  Duncan had implied they had been together in vegas. Her father's eyes on her when she would walk through camp. Her words full of loathing, his words crude. But somehow, there was more beneath that surface.

But now he also knew, and knew for sure, that his father had not been the only one with feelings he had never or would ever admit. He did not know why, but her reaction..it had said enough.

Connor stared at Charlie's front door for a moment before he dragged himself home.

 


	2. Mini Miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so very much for all your nice reviews, I am so happy you liked the start of this new story! It made me want to write more, very fast. So today, on this rainy autumn day back here, I had a lot of time for writing. Here is chapter two! This chapter starts at the same evening, where the last chapter started. In a bar, with Charlie at the bar and Bass at a table with the guys.

Bass was enjoying his evening with the boys. Well, with  _almost_  all the boys. When Miles had walked into his office earlier this day, telling him he would pass on this round, Bass knew enough. Both him and Miles knew exactly why he was cancelling the chance to get hammered and have some fun while they were doing just that.

 _Bitch girlfriend from hell_ still kept Miles on a tight leash. It was rather pathetic to see.

But being brothers meant he had his brothers back, through hell and back. If Rachel thought he was going anywhere, she was wrong.

One bottle had quickly turned in a lot of bottles, cards and tall talking. He could not say he did not enjoy it. It reminded him of days in the very distant past, when there had been friends, and evenings just like this.

After the war, they had returned to Willoughby. From all the god damn places to be, he had ended up in this small town with his kid and the Matheson's. He had ended up with one Matheson in particular and he could not say he did not enjoy that either. And that one Matheson  _did_ show up in the bar this evening.

Bass did not even know she had walked in, until he saw her sitting at the bar. The bar was crowded, but between everybody else, his mind seemed to focus on just her. Her back was towards him, long blonde waves falling over her shoulders.

_Deep blue tank, tight jeans, accentuating every damn curve._

One of the men at the table made a sharp remark if he needed some more damn time, so they all could proceed with their game. He charmed his way out of it with a wide grin and a smart ass answer back, before he turned his attention back on his game.

 _Charlotte Matheson._ Of all the people who could have tracked him down,  _he made a mental note to ask her someday how the hell she did that by the way,_  to put him out of his misery, it had to be her.

It had to be this infuriation, stubborn, force of a woman. A woman, that had been able to provoke a physical reaction from him the first time he had met her in Philly. Clear blue eyes, a body that moved like a cat in fluid motions, one dam set of killer instincts and never, never fucking afraid of him. Always in his face, always in his very personal space.

She had been a memory from another life. She had been Ben and Rachel's kid. She had been Miles' niece. She had been brave and strong when she stood up for her brother, he had not been able to tear his gaze away from her.

She had been the one that walked her gorgeous ass, hips swaying,  _fuck_  he had enjoyed many hours on the road looking at her flowing hips, over to Vegas to kill him.

And after Vegas, after the first time she stood co close to him he had felt her warm breath on his face, her lips within touching range, she had become the one woman he had not been able to get out of his mind.

She had only just tolerated him on their way back to Willoughby.

And then she had saved his life, after he had saved hers. When those fucking rangers had rolled him into town, caged like an animal, he had seen her. Standing at the side of the road,  _purple tank top, intense blue eyes._ When her eyes had met his, only for seconds, he had not seen what he had expected to see. Instead, her sheer look, telling him about hundred different things, had made it too hard to look at her anymore.

They had never talked about it, but hell, he knew, right there and then, that things had changed again between them. Somehow Charlie went from wanting him dead, to the one person who had asked her bitch mom to save his.

Charlie became somebody he respected more by the day, became somebody he could fight with, somebody he actually started to enjoy being around with.

And somebody who kept showing up more and more in very persistent thoughts. Out of nowhere he would think about her lush lips, about the curves of her breasts under his hands. She could walk through camp, or walk before him, crossbow strapped to her back. Flashes about her smooth skin, slender body, fierce eyes and firm ass made him hard with only one look at her.

No matter how infuriating she could be, no matter how very much the fuck it was wrong to think about her this way, Miles niece, hell, she was MILES NIECE, he fucking wished he could push her against a tree, a wall, the side of a wagon, crash his lips on her, feel her body under his and give into lust and want. The only thing left to do was find some release, when he would come with her on his mind, spilling himself over his own hand on rare occasions he found himself alone with his thoughts.

And somehow, they had both found themselves back at Willoughby again. Many months had passed, the war was over.

It was the first day on the new job, and he was arguing with Miles about who would get the bigger office, when she had walked in.

She had put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrow while she stood in the doorway.

She had looked at Miles, and then put her eyes on him, taking her time to scan his whole damn body. Had she any idea what kind of torture that was to a certain part of his body that was already grinding uncomfortably against the fabric of his pants _?_ He had seen one hell of a smile forming around her lips until it lit up her whole face.

' _So, I just had to walk in here to see for myself if the rumours are true. Blanchard gave you two the keys of this town?'_ A mocking disbelieve in her voice.

Bass had watched Miles, a grin forming on his face.

' _Well, sure looks like it kid.'_  Miles answered her, nodding at the office around him  _._

' _Well, it is good that I am around then, to make sure you idiots don't screw up. That way there is at least some adult supervision.'_

Miles shook his head at his niece, a smile on his face when he talked to her again.

' _Now we just have to figure out who gets which office, because this moron over here, thinks it is up to him.'_ This time Miles nodded at Bass.

She tilted her head back, and laughed.

' _This just confirms something I knew for a long time now. What are you guys? Like twelve years old?'_

And then her eyes found his again, and she smiled at him. Charlie Matheson fucking smiled at  _him._ It was a warm smile, a smile that reached her clear eyes and went straight to his gut.  _Holy hell._

Miles had invited her to join them for drinks later that day, she had surprised him with her answer. And when she had shared a bottle and a couple of hours with both Miles and him, he saw a side of Charlie that was brand new. She was sharp, fast and good company.

He had considered her as a friend ,  _although he still thought about doing things to her that were not things that friends were supposed to do, things that involved a very naked, beautiful Charlie who would moan his name in his ear, out of breath, pinned under him_ , by now, and somehow he knew, or hoped, that feeling was mutual.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard her laugh again, but this time not in his thoughts, and he turned his head towards her. Turned his head and felt how his jaws locked in response at the sight of Charlie at the bar, some fucking asshole to her left.

He knew she was not drunk, this girl could hold her liquor just like her  _uncle slash dad slash uncle_  , but she was getting there. Charlie was not the girl who would let her drinking get out of control, even if she was within the safety of the town walls.

There was something in her behaviour that was different tonight. If he thought about it, he had hardly seen anything of her the past couple of days. Something was off.

It pissed him off to no end to see this asshole making a fucking loser attempt to impress Charlie. The idea of another man touching her, pissed him of even more. He could not take his eyes away from her, especially when he saw how Charlie looked at him. How she quickly touched his arm.

When she got up from her bar stool, asshole dared to put his arm around her. Bass decided to put his hand around his drink to prevent himself from putting his hand around asshole's throat.

When she finally turned his way, she looked at him, for the very first time that evening. Normally she would have walked over at least once, to throw something smart ass in his face, or to make him pay for her drink, which he always did with some protesting growl. He actually liked the fact she would let him pay for her drinks, but of course he never told her that.

 _Hell,_  for the very first time in so many months, he looked into eyes he had not seen in forever. He was not sure if it was hurt, loathing or anger. Or maybe, it was all of it. But whatever it was, it was aimed at him.

And when she brought her attention back to the guy that was,  _damn it_ , don't think about that, apparently going home with her, and walked away from him it hit him. Something was definitely off. He just could not understand what the hell had happened.

* * *

After she had tore herself away from Bass intense gaze, she had let what's his name, walk her home. She know where this evening could take her, but she was not interested. She thought one random night would help block the things about she wanted to forget but it had not worked. She had left a very disappointed guy outside her front door, but she didn't care.

Charlie tried to fight the nauseating images that seemed to surface the moment had Connor spoken about Bass and her mother and the fact that they had been  _sharing some kind of night together._

_When?_

_How?_

_How could she have missed this?_

She tried, she tried so very hard but lost that fight. Her mind had decided to give her some very graphic visual images who accompanied Connor's words.

So, on the day Miles was missing, her mom and Bas had taken the liberty to go for another verbal hate smack down. On the day Miles had been missing, on the day Neville found her. Neville found her not long after Bass had suggested they would all split up. She had felt like there had been a shadow somewhere hidden around her in the landscape and when she had heard Neville's voice she was not even surprised. He had made it crystal clear he would not stop until he would find his son

She had brought him to one of their former safe houses. The image of Jason's cold and motionless body on the harsh floor somewhere in Austin when she had to walk Neville all the way there. She lead him there , instead of their current camp to make sure Neville would not hurt anyone less than her, and had to listen to his threats to finish each and every one around her, starting with Monroe, until he had killed his way to the truth.

And at that moment, the idea of losing them all, including Bass, had been a heart stopping moment. Austin, Jason, Neville's gun shoved in her face, it had all chanced her. For good.

But knowing, her mom and Bass had been going for another round of  _who hates who the most_ , at that exact moment, filled her with rage. Filled her with disbelieve.

At that point, she had reached some kind of understanding with Bass, she had been able to fight alongside him, she was starting to accept the idea that he might have been a different man then she thought he would be.

She knew splitting up gave Miles a better chance, but she had NOT split up to gave her mom and Bass more time for whatever happened there. The possibilities of what could have happened there, filled her with more nausea all of a sudden. Connor never told her what he walked into. And why the hell was he there in the first place?

She could not even begin to think about how much bitter disappointment and anger she felt for her mother. All her actions towards Bass, all her hate for this man, but somehow she had ended up in his bed?

Her head was spinning so much, she did not even know what to feel first. So her  _please do the right thing mother_ and her  _how could you be so stupid and dense to bring him back mother_  had shared a night with  _him_.

_Why? Did Miles know? What did Connor walk into on that day? Why the hell did he never told her? And why the hell did she feel hurt? Why the hell did it feel like this knowledge changed everything? Why the hell did she care about something from the past when it came to Bass? Why did it hurt her like he... Why did this matter so much? Why was this not only about her mom? Why was this suddenly about Bass and maybe, even more about him?_

Exhausted, Charlie let herself crash on her couch. She did not even bother to walk to her bedroom or get out of her clothes before she was pulled into chaotic dreams and a long night of tossing and turning. Chaotic dreams, but without answers.

_**Two weeks later** _

Charlie was looking at her glass, and decided she needed a refill. Sam, the guy who owned the bar, put another bottle next to her at her request.

' _Thanks,'_ and she grinned at him.

' _Not that I am complaining Charlie, you being a very good costumer and all, but the past weeks you have been drinking like it is water you have in your glass.'_  He pointed at the glass before her.

Sam was an old friend of the Porter family, and he had watched Charlie the past couple of weeks. He liked the girl, and always kept an eye on her, even if she didn't want one.

' _I am fine Sam, stop worrying. I'm a Matheson._ ' She nodded at the glass before her.  _'I'm born to drink. A lot.'_

Joey shook his head at the girl, before he turned his attention towards another customer.

Bass had found a place at a small table in the corner of the bar. He had almost decided to call it a night. Charlie had not even seen him, or maybe she had and decided he was still invisible to her. He watched her.

Once he had called her a  _Mini Miles_. And man, the way she was drinking herself into a state of sheer dark misery tonight, and on many other nights these past weeks, it reminded him too fucking much of Miles.

He hated to see her like this. He was beyond frustrated that he could not figure out what the hell had happened. Something inside of him wanted to shake her out of it, and get to the fucking bottom of this.

When another guy approached her, his eyes shamelessly fixed on her ass, he felt that frustration pulsing through every muscle.

And when he saw a miserably drunk _, because damn it, she was drunk_ , Charlie, turn towards this guy, the frustration exploded _. Hell no_. He was not going to sit here and watch this again. He got up from his chair and crashed down his drink to the table.

Charlie felt the lightheaded buzz and the welcoming way the alcohol was numbing her body. She was deciding if the guy who was flirting with her, she did not even bother to remember his name because he was, well, too damn boring, had really greenish dark eyes, or darkish green eyes when she felt how a strong hand wrapped itself around her arm in a very determined way.

When she turned her head she looked directly in Bass' eyes. He was towering above her, and his face was filled with harsh lines.

' _I'm taking you home.'_ His tone was low and deep, determined.

' _What do you think you're doing, Monroe?'_ She snapped at him, completely surprised where he came from, she did not even hear him approaching her.

She had made it her day job once to hear Monroe coming, to be on edge. Well, simply because when you tried to kill Sebastian Monroe and failed, you better knew where he was in case he wanted, revenge. But that was then. He completely surprised her this time.

' _I was just about to ask you that same question, Charlotte.'_ His words were not rough, but also not friendly. She almost drowned in his look.

' _Look pall, I think you should get away from her, now.'_ The guy on her left spoke, but not without a lot of conviction. Bass did not even flinch or look at him when he spoke.

' _You get the fuck out of here and away from her. Now.'_ He barked at him, his words spoken in a deep growl. It was his general tone, the one that said  _I am not asking_.

Charlie tried to get away from Bass his grip, but her system full of alcohol already made that impossible. It was already hard to keep her balance, let alone fight Bass. She tried to shove him away from her but his grip was too damn strong.

' _Put whatever she had on my tab, Sam,'_  Bass nodded at the man behind the bar _. 'I 'll make sure she gets home.'_

Charlie wanted to protest to Sam because he was not protesting, but Bass had already got her on her feet, like she weighed nothing.

Fresh air was hitting her face.

She yanked herself free from his hold and started to walk, forcing herself to keep in a straight line.

' _So, what, you are actually walking me home?'_ She threw the words in his face.

' _I sure am, Charlotte.'_ His voice was calm again, and it drove Charlie into anger overdrive.

' _Why?'_

Bass stopped and looked at her, she lost her balance for a moment and he caught her before she could actually fall.

' _That's why.'_  His voice was way too close to her ear.

' _Go to hell Bass.'_ This time there was anger in her words, anger she was hardly able to contain anymore.

Bass felt irritation building up inside of him. He shook his head, his lips pressed to a thin line. What the hell had gotten in to her?

Bass was still walking beside her, but kept some more distance, and they closed the rest of the distance to her apartment in silence.

Bass shook his head and sighed through his teeth in frustration at Charlie's last words. He did not let of his determination to find out why Charlie was acting like Miles did on his most miserable days.  _Damn_ , he could not even remember how many times he had dragged his brother's drunken ass back home.

And now he was doing the same for Charlotte.  _Yeah_ , he had not been wrong when he had called her a Mini Miles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for reading! We will leave Charlie and Bass at this point, and will pick up on the story in next chapter :) Until the next chapter...Love from Love
> 
> '


	3. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back to this story and sorry for leaving this story for so long! Maybe you have read the first two chapters again, but if not, here is a little summary...

_This story started with Charlie walking over to the local bar. She was trying to forget something. Something that Connor had told her after yet another frustration diner she had to sit through at her mother's and Miles place, about something from the past that shocked Charlie to the core. Shock, anger and unexpected hurt followed. If her relationship with Rachel was bad before, it will beyond bad now._  
 _Connor immediately regretted telling her, but he was dealing with his own frustrations regarding Rachel, and that made him reveal something to Charlie that has been hidden until now._

_What Connor told her, is the thing that Charlie tried to get out of her system, while she tried to figure out why exactly the hell it bothered her so much and so many questions are storming through her mind._

_She had a couple of drinks, flirted with a guy she barely knew. And before she left the bar with that guy, her eyes met with him. With Monroe. She let that guy walk her home, but decided she did not want to go any further with him. Questios and hurt flood her._

_Monroe had been watching her, going back in his mind to the moment he met her and where they are finding their selves now. In Willoughby, after the war. As friends. Or something like that._

_He was thinking of her when he should have been paying attention to his game of cards. But this is Charlie Matheson, and he can't get her out of his damn mind. He watched her leave the bar, trying to decide what the hell happened for Charlie to look at him with something close to hate or loathing in her eyes. Again. He really thought they had left that behind them. And he really fucking hated to see her with another guy, wishing his hands had been around the guys neck by now, instead of the glass of whiskey he was holding._

_When Charlie was back at the bar on another night, Bass could not take it anymore. Seeing her drunk, seeing her be with another guy, loser guy number two of this month he slammed down his drink on the table and walked over to her. He intervened, pulled her close, and told the asshole loser guy he had to get the fuck out. He then walked her outside, worry and frustration battling in his mind when he wanted to make sure she got home safely._

* * *

Bass watched her open her front door. Her movements were uncoordinated, her eyes not as focussed as they normally were.

The Charlie he knew, was always aware of the world around her, was always looking out for herself. Tonight, he had watched her. Watched her and see her loose herself in one whiskey after another. Whatever the fuck was going on, he not had been able to just sit and watch it happen right in front of him. And when that fucking asshole guy approached her, enough had been enough. That asshole was not going home with her.

Not with her.

Not in this state.

Well, not fucking ever in general. She probably would hate him for it, but it that meant she was safe,  _dammit,_  he would take another punch.

Asshole guy had disappeared in less than a couple of seconds after he had walked over to tell him to get lost. He had walked her home, he had felt silent frustrationfrom her. She had not once looked at him after he helped her from stumbling on the damn street.

Charlie felt more sober from the fresh air and the anger she felt now for the man that was following her into her apartment. And with him, with Bass, followed those images that belonged to that man, images from a moment she really did not want to picture. Images from that night Connor had talked about. Images that she had tried to block with whiskey and company. It had not worked. And now he was here. Standing so close.

She had felt new things when it came to bass the fast few months. But after what Connored had told her, nothing mattered anymore.

She really wished he would take his ass home and leave her be.

Instead, he walked over to her, and she felt how he wrapped his fingers slowly around her elbow.

' _Hey, what's going on with you?'_ His voice was low, and he sounded like he really cared. But she would not allow herself to think about that.

' _What do you mean?'_  Charlie's voice sounded flat, while she moved away from his touch to get out of her jacket. He was too close, hiss touch too gentle. She needed something to do, something other than having to listening to his low voice burning through her and his tall body way to close. So she threw the jacket it on her couch. it did not make it to the couch, but Charlie did not care right now.

' _Don't give me that. You are drinking your ass of, flirting or whatever with some guy you don't even know. This is not you, Charlie.'_

He was losing it, fast. He felt frustrated and more than that, he was worried out of his damn mind.

This was not like her, and how much she tried to put up a thought front, she was failing miserable. Something was going on. And he was losing his patience.

' _What the hell is going on?'_  His voice was rnow umbling through her living room, desperately wanting a reaction,  _any reaction_ , from her.

'NOTHING!' Charlie finally yelled back, feeling how every emotion inside of her collided inside of her. Her chest was moving fast, moving up and down with shallow angry and hurt breaths.

Bass opened his mouth in shock at her outburst. His deep stormy blue eyes were wide.

 _Fuck_. Bass Monroe knew woman. And although this blackout world was so damn different then the world before it, some things stayed the same. And if a woman threw in your face that nothing was wrong, everything was the fuck wrong.

He swallowed with difficulty.

' _Charlie...'_ His voice was now low, so low Charlie could barely hear him when he started to speak again, when he took a step forward.

She did not let him finish. She felt like she was too to open, too raw, too exposed. She felt a storm of emotions swirling in her, and she felt she was losing her grip on her emotions. She could not do that, not with him.

' _Out...'_  her voice was flat.

' _Get out, Bass.'_

Bass could not believe his own ears. Did _she just? Did she just call him Bass?_  He felt something go through his gut at hearing his nickname from her. Seeing her pissed and hurt, when calling him by his nickname for the very first time, confused him even more.

She was pushing him away while drawing him closer at the same time.

Charlie looked at his eyes, looked at his face. And she was surprised by how difficult it was, even with how she was feeling right now, to tell him to go.

' _Go...'_ This time her voice sounded so frail.

Bass looked at her, looked at the anger that was now rapidly leaving her. Her body, her eyes. She sounded almost like her words had been a plea.

He locked his jaws, shook his head, watched the ground and watched her for a moment. Charlie had wrapped her arms before her chest.

He would go. For now.

But what the hell was going on here?

He put his hand on the doorknob, and looked at her one more time. He could not figure her out. He wanted to say something, but closed his mouth again.

He would go.

But he also would be back.

* * *

He had no idea how late it was, but Bass knew he could not get a good night's sleep. So he poured himself a drink, while his thoughts were still with her _. Dammit_ , he hated to leave her behind like that, but he also would respect her wishes. If she needed him out, he would get the hell out. He would never want her to feel he would not respect her limits if she told him what they were.

As hard as she had tried to mask it, he had heard hurt and a light tremble in her voice, when she lost it. He could not remember when Charlie had ever yelled at him. When she ever lost control of her emotions like that.

He thought about her, about the fact that he had finally felt she was letting him in. So very slowly, over the past few years, but it had happened. She was more relaxed around him, she actually fucking smiled at him from time to time.

He considered her a friend.

He wanted them to be more.

There was no fucking denying that anymore. But after tonight, Charlie felt more out of reach than she had felt in months. She had shut him out. She had been doing that for the past weeks now. Asked him to go. When all he wanted to do was stay and get through what the hell was going on.

He went over every damn day of the past couple of weeks, hell even months, and could not think of one fucking thing that could have happened.

She felt more out of reach than ever. But when she was pushing him away, when she was so very pissed at him. She had called him Bass.  _Bass._

And that was the reason why he was not ready to let the fuck do, like a more sane person would do after months, no years, of fighting whatever he felt for this woman. Lucky for him, Charlie had always questioned his sanity.

He finished his whiskey.

Tomorrow, he would talk to his kid. Maybe Connor knew more.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for forgiving me the long break in this story, because if you are still here, that meant you read this chapter. And that makes me happy...Thank you! This was originally a one shot, but it became too long, so that's why there are more chapters. I hope to meet you all at the next chapter! Love from Love


	4. Flashback

 

Bass had nowhere near enough to drink, because  _she_ was still on his mind. He doubted that whatever was left in the bottle, standing on the ground next to his left boot, would make any difference. He was sitting on the threshold of his back door.

Her face, her beautiful face. Hurt, pissed, blue eyes firing at him, was still keeping him company. The alcohol was slowly easing the frustration a bit he felt but hell, she was still there. Normally he would drink some more, go to the town bar to see if he could get some friendly lady company and forget everyone and every damn thing around him. But he was fucked, utterly fucked because the more he could not have Charlie, the more he in fact wanted her.

She could be shutting him out, telling him with her whole body, eyes and being that she was only tolerating him to fight with them.

But every now and then, she could leave him in complete and utter shock, surprising him with her actions. He never saw it coming, something that pissed him off even more now he thought about it.

She had asked Rachel to save his sorry ass.

She had not said something in true Matheson style when both Gould and Duncan had made remarks about the fact that they could be together.

She had shoved a gun in Duncan's face and all the time he was wondering if she realised that meant she was having  _his_  back there.

She had stayed to save his sorry ass in Vegas, all over again.

She had thrown him one hell of a smile when Duncan gave her those five men he had been working his ass off to get. And when she walked passed him, and one of Duncan's men had the fucking nerve to shoulder bump him on the way, she had shot him a wide grin that had left him pissed. Kind of in awe. And kind of with the beginning of an epic fucking hard on.

And then there was that one moment in that safe house, on the road.

* * *

  _Almost midnight, safe house around Willoughby. Almost a year ago._

He was tired. Mostly of seeing Miles and the bitch girlfriend from hell together. But mostly from the fucking two day miserable walk with some more wining from that one bitch girlfriend from hell. Another of their safe houses was compromised and they had to run again, something Sebastian Monroe did not do. So he dragged his ass upstairs, and opened the door to a small messed up bedroom. God, he swore, on these days like this he missed being fucking president.

If he had not been so tired, he would have noticed a bag pack that did not belong to him in the room.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, at least this safe house had beds, he stripped down his belt and put his knives right next to him, while he started to open his boots.

Charlie could feel the long day in her bones. She was dirty, sweaty, tired. Two days on the road with a pissed of Monroe, a mother that had eyes with thunder and a Miles that had been moody beyond anything up to this point. Connor had walked behind them in, and when he was not talking to his dad, or observing the group he was trying to talk to her and she was not sure in how many ways she could tell a guy that she did not want to. Yeah, it had been another good day. Lucky for her, this safe house had a bathroom, with a bath.

She had left an argument with her mother, Miles and Monroe behind. Had found a room upstairs and had shut the door of the small bath room behind her a little bit harder than she had to.

And now, she was still tired, but at least she was clean. She had slipped into a pair of clean panties and a simple tank, not bothering with the rest because all she wanted to do now was sleep. Charlie closed the door of the small bedroom she had chosen for herself, rubbing her wet hair with the small rag excuse of her towel tonight.

And then she turned around, meeting blue eyes. Her eyes went wide with shock for a couple of seconds when she watched Monroe's lips curl into a smug grin. She felt anger bubble up inside of her soon after when she realised where his eyes had been going go for a moment. And she wished silently that the bra she was holding in her hand, together with h her pants, soap and boots was now under that tank top. Shit, no bra. She knew he knew.

Bass had turned his head towards the noise that came from the other side of the room. He watched the doorknob move and Charlie enter the room. He was not able to move his hands, that were busy with the shoe string of his left boot.  _Fuck._  She looked lost in her thoughts, her hands going through her wet hair. Tank. And double fuck. Black tiny panties around smooth hips.

That was the moment she noticed him and a pair of blue firing eyes met him. He told himself to look at her face, but hell, one look at that tank told him she was not wearing any damn thing under it.

' _What are you doing here Monroe.'_ Charlie said agitated, dropping the towel on the bed in front of her.

He had to give her that, she did not move an inch, one hand on her smooth hip. Another curse word went through his mind and he wondered if this had been some curse work record for how many curse words one man could go through under a minute. But spending time on a daily basis with both Miles and the bitch probably had set a record that was unbreakable.

She was just too damn hot, and adorable like this, so he decided he could have some fun with her right now. If she was truly pissed, she probably would have had a weapon in her hand now.

' _Hey, just wanted to get some sleep.'_ His tone was low, but there was a hint of amusement shining through, his blue eyes almost smiling at her.

' _Well, get that sleep somewhere else, you are not...'_

 _A_ nd that is as for as she got, because they could hear footsteps on the steps in the hallway. And they both knew who those steps belonged to.  _Miles._

Charlie watched the smug grin drop from his face as they heard Miles walking up to the door that was separating him, her uncle and herself in nothing more than black tiny panties and a tank, no bra, in the same room as Sebastian Monroe.

She once wanted him dead, and well, this would have made a perfect opportunity to see that wish come true.

' _Hey, kid...'_  Miles voice on the other side of the door. This time she smirked at the panic that was starting to appear on Monroe's face.

Bass cursed something through his teeth, when his eyes were plastered on the door.

Charlie looked at the window.

' _If you want to live, I suggest you start climbing,'_  while she nodded at the open window behind him.

He looked at her like she had lost his damn mind.

He was not fucking sixteen years old. He once climbed out of a window in Jasper, when a very angry parent of a very hot girl from another class had come home early, when he was kind of in her bra and panties, With his pants still open and his shirt that flew out of the window first, he had almost broke his fucking ankle when he landed somewhere under that window and there was no way in hell he would do that again.

Although the idea of a pissed Miles or raging Rachel, made a broken ankle look like a small price to pay for his life.

' _I am not climbing out of that fucking window, Charlie.'_  He growled in a whisper.

Charlie hissed at him,  _'Move,'_  when she gestured to the wall on her right.

Is she could help it, that door would not open, but if Miles would leave her no choice, than at least Bass was behind that door, plastered and trapped between the wall and the door. And hey, if she had to open it, it would hit him right in the face and that would be a bonus. She reminded herself to use a little force if she indeed had to open it.

Bass, to her surprise, did what she asked of him and casually leaned against the wall. The curve of her hip close to his upper leg when Charlie took a breath.

' _Miles? I am kind of in the middle of something.'_

' _Ah, okay..._ ' she could hear her uncle's discomfort. If she wanted to mess with him she only had to mention shampoo or other girly chick things, as he liked to call them.

Miles scraped his throat.

' _I just wanted to ask if you had seen Monroe. Wanted to tell him he is on second watch and I can't seem to find that idiot.'_

' _Miles...?'_

' _Yes kid?'_

'  _I just took a nice relaxing bath, and I am kind of not completely dressed,'_ she ignored the small grunt of agony coming from Miles on the other side of the door, '... _you really want me to talk about Monroe when I am standing here in my underwear?'_

She know that mentioning that would probably have Miles run away from her door in less than seconds.

Bass heard Charlie, and had a pretty good idea how his brother looked at the other side of the door. Dammit, this was fun. And dammit, she was close. He could smell a light vanilla scent, coming from her hair. God, she smelled good. And god, this was torture.

Charlie could hear a huff of air to her right and when she looked at Monroe, he was grinning like an idiot. She poked him in his ribs as hard as she could. Rolled her eyes at him when he was still grinning like an idiot. Although that grinning was now forming into a huge smile that made her heartbeat do stupid things.

' _Carry on,'_  Miles said, sarcasm in his words and at his tone Charlie could hear he wanted to get away from this nice uncle niece moment as far and fast he could.

With Miles gone, Charlie let out a sigh.

She walked to the bed in the corner.

' _Uh Charlie, what are you doing?'_

Charlie moved under the sheets, moving her hair over one shoulder, giving him one hell of a view on the curve of her breasts.

' _What does it look like Monroe? I'm going to get some sleep. I am beat.'_

She looked at him for a moment and then sighed again. Grabbed an extra blanket that was on the bed and threw it his way.

' _You can stay.'_  She had her head on a pillow.

' _But how the am I going to get the fuck out of this room without your uncle and mom killing me?'_

' _Not my problem Monroe.'_

In a couple of hours, he had to open that damn door, sneak into the hallway and make it downstairs in once piece. Yeah, that was going to be all sorts of fun. But for now, he was in a dark room, watched Charlie move with content under sheets. He grabbed the blanket, pulled a chair over and placed his feet on the edge of the bed. It was not the most comfortable place to get some shut eye, but hey, he had worse. In a couple of hours, he would wake up to a Charlie breathing slowly. She would have turned around and a bare smooth leg would stick out from under the blanket that she was wrapped up in. He would move slowly towards her, watch her face for a second and then he would readjust the blanket to cover her up. She would move in her sleep and he hoped that she would not wake up. She would let out another soft sigh and moved her face to a more comfortable piece on her pillow.

But first, sleep. In one room. With her so damn close.

She had her back turned against him, and maybe that was a fucking good thing so Charlie would not see his big grin at hearing how she tried to sound pissed. But her amusement, or whatever it was, broke through.

He bit his tongue before he answered her.

' _Night Charlie.'_

He had almost crashed into a deep sleep, when he heard a mumble coming from her.

' _Night Monroe.'_

 

Charlie Matheson. The scent of the vanilla from her hair hit him again. The way he had enjoyed their bantering too. But after tonight, he was not sure it that was ever going to happen again. He finished to bottle in a last long swig, his hand going over his scruff.  _Fuck._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A look back into time, when all that Charloe energy was flowing :) In next chapter, you will see the moment I promised you where Bass will fins out....Bass will walk over to Connor's place, for a little father son talk. And Charlie meets her mother in town. It will all be peachy... Love from Love


	5. Two Conversations

_**One chapter, two conversations. Two confrontations. And many emotions.** _

Charlie's head was pounding. Every single heartbeat was booming, causing another painful dull poke through her head. She had tried to drink some water to cast away a hangover she had not experienced in a very long time. Her mouth had been dry like sand when she had woken up, leaving her with a bitter taste on her tongue.

Last night was a chaotic blur. But she did remember Monroe. In her apartment, standing in front of her. She did remember his hand around her upper arm, when he had dragged her out the bar. His tall body close. Too close.

She did remember his eyes, exploring, trying to figure her out. She remembered some random guy which she had already quickly lost interest in soon before he had showed up. And with a another dull poke that waved through her head she also remembered why she had been drinking so much in the first place.

Her apartment was empty. Silent.

She ate some breakfast in silence. Her stomach gradually accepted the food and the waves of nausea started to disappear slowly.

Fresh air. She needed some fresh air, the walls of her apartment and the echo of the memory of Monroe standing in her living room crushing on her. She moved her arms into the sleeves of her jackets and was out of the door.

The wind went through her hair, and the sun warmed her face. And although it was a busy day in town, the lively market, people on their way, going through their Fridays, Charlie let the morning activities of Willoughby fly past her.

That was until a voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

' _Hey, Charlie, wait up.'_

Charlie ignored the voice, while her stomach felt unsteady again. This time not from the hangover, but from images that came back to her. She got mad at herself, mad that they still made an impact. Mad, that they had managed to make an impact. Mad that she was not able to control the constant swirl of emotions in her.

' _Charlie!'_  This time, the voice was harder. She only made it a little bit further, realising that there was no escaping this. And with the way she felt now, maybe it was for the better.

' _Sweetheart, hey, it's me, '_  Charlie finally turned around, and looked straight in the face of her mother. Rachel's eyes focussed on her daughter.

It was the first time she had seen her mother since Connor told her.

 _An image of Monroe and her mother together_ made her hold her breath, while Charlie felt how her skin went numb and cold.

She felt something that she had felt before, in Vegas, standing in front of a warlord. Something dark pinching in her stomach. She pushed it all away.

' _What's wrong?_ ' Rachel looked at the pale colour on her daughter's cheeks.

Charlie moved closer to her mother, as she felt the muscles in her back spasm with tension. She felt the eyes of many around them, aimed at her and her mother.

Here they were, having a argument in the middle of Friday market.  _Perfect._ But her emotions were running too rarely high for her to stop, she did not care anymore at this point.

Her voice was a harsh whisper, with contained rage that she held inside of her for so long now.

' _What's wrong mom, that apparently it is okay to call me stupid and dense and not worthy of any of your time or consideration for what happened to me when I came back with Monroe to fight the patriots. But apparently it is not wrong to sleep with him while you always claimed that you had nothing but hate for this man.'_

Charlie felt a cold punch to her chest. She knew the answer would be on her mother's face. And she prayed silently for a second that her mother would laugh right in her face at being so ridiculous. That her mother would be pissed at such an accusation.

She did none of those things.

' _I guess it was not the whole story, now was it.'_ Charlie had moved her arms before her chest, when her words sounded so bitter.

 _R_ achel could only stare in utter disbelieve at her daughter. She tried to fight nausea in her stomach. She could not believe that that one stupid decision, that went against her pride and principles, that that one decision from almost half a decade ago, was out in the open, right here in her home town, in the middle of a market.

' _How...how do you know about this?'_

Charlie had Connor had been wrong, that he had been wrong about her mother and Monroe. But with that answer from her mother, that hope was now crushed.

' _So, it is true?'_  Charlie's voice was flat while all she could feel was burning hurt.

Rachel felt waves of guilt and regret wash over her. The one night, that one decision had hunted her down for such a long time. Became a decision she had buried with hate and loathing for him. Loathing and hate she already felt, but hate and loathing she felt for herself too.

' _I'll take that as a yes,'_  Charlie said when her mother said nothing, fighting nausea on her own. Her voice held disappointment, and hurt and anger all at once. Her words were calm, but her eyes were shooting fire at her mother.

 _Charlie_  turned away from her mom. Fresh air, she reminded herself. That's why she left her home. Fresh air and now, distance from her mother.

As she turned around, she ignored the people around her.

' _Where are you going?'_  She could hear dread in her mother's voice,  _'Are you going to find Miles?'_

Charlie closed her eyes. She thought about Ben, about Miles. And now Monroe. She felt so hurt. Confused. And all her mother could think about know, if she would go and tell Miles.  _Sure mom_ , Charlie thought bitterly when she left her mother in a cloud of people behind her.

She had to get away from her. Now, when she was slowly started to realise that Connor's words had been true. And nothing, nothing made sense anymore.

_**Across town** _

Bass clenched his jaws when he was waiting for Connor at his front door. He had just knocked on the front door with his gut filled with dread.

' _Just a second.'_  Connor muttered from some place at the other side of the door.

It did not take long before Connor opened the door. Bare chest, bare feet, a pair of pants he had obviously just put on.

Bass cursed in silence, not sure if he could take it if Charlie would appear in the room behind his kid. One time walking in on the both of them with a freshly fucked look on their faces was enough. If Bass had it his way, never would be even better.

He heard footsteps from the other side of the room and he felt relieve when a young brunette walked into the living room in Connor's shirt.

' _Dad, what can I do for you?'_ Connor asked, his voice low with lack of sleep and a grin plastered on his face.

' _You have a minute for me?'_  Bass answered when his eyes went over Connor's shoulder.

Out of his bedroom came another girl, smiling shyly at Connor and him. Both the blonde and the brunette giggled when Connor introduced him as his dad.

' _Nice to meet you, sir.'_  The brunette said, nodding at him before turning all her attention back on Connor, pressing a kiss on Connor's cheek, her hand on his bare shoulder.

Bass looked in shock for a second. Fucking hell, since when did he become  _sir_? Bass eyes shot fire when Connor had to fight a laugh.

' _Ladies, if you will excuse me...'_ Connor said when Bass still stood there, a hand going through his curls.

Both girls excused themselves, disappeared into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes they appeared again, all dressed. Connor kissed both of them goodbye. Whispering something low in the Brunette's ear that made her giggle again. The brunette shoved his shirt to his kid's chest with a smile, when Bass could not help but feel some pride at his kid. Hey, the kid was a Monroe after all. A reputation had to be held high.

Pride was accompanied with relieve, because he did not care how many girls his kid would screw.

He should just stay the hell away from Charlie.

' _Well, you look like you are having fun..._ ' Bass said when he grinned at Connor for a second. Connor let his shirt go through his hands and put it back on.

Connor grinned back at his dad.

' _Nothing wrong with some fun,'_  Connor shot back at him, when he looked at his dad with curiosity. He looked like hell.

' _Looking at your face I guess this is not some social call.'_ He added.

Bass was fidgeting with his hand in his right pocket, the keys of his place going through his fingers. He could make some fucking small talk here, but he was not in the mood.

' _Listen kid, I think Charlie could be in trouble.'_

He watched how something changed in Connor's face.

' _I was wondering if you knew anything.'_  Bass added.

' _Because you worry about her...you know because for Miles and Rachel.'_ Connor's voice was low and Bass could hear the edge in his words.

They both knew Connor was referring to what Bass said once in Vegas, when he had confronted Connor about sleeping with Charlie. Right after he had found the both of them at that fire right outside the city and Bass had been ranting about what would happen if both Rachel and Miles would find out about him and Charlie.

' _Watch your words, Connor.,'_  Bass snapped back at Connor's words, matching Connor's tone, his voice low and rough now, his eyes filled with warning.

Bass took another deep breath, which he let escape through his teeth. He was not here for a war with his kid, he was here for her.

' _Listen, Connor, if you know anything...'_  Bass said, this time more calmly.

There it was again, the shadow on his kid's face, something he did not fucking like seeing there.

Connor's mind went to the night he had found Charlie on the steps of her building. She looked pissed and frustrated. When the conversation had ended up at Rachel and Charlie told him about Rachel with disappointment in her eyes, Connor had shared her own frustration. He did not like the woman. He never did, called her a psycho blonde from hell from the start.

He remembered, even through his drunken haze, that he had told her something that was meant as something he and Charlie could both talk about some more, getting rid of his own frustration when it came to Rachel at the same time. But at the end of the evening, he had told her something that had stayed hidden for so long now. That he had found out by coincidence.

And instead of sharing his own frustrations, he had hurt Charlie. He had seen her tears. He had seen her a couple of times after that night. She was avoiding him, and he noticed her without the usual energy in her eyes.

' _Did you talk to her the last couple of weeks?'_ Bass asked.

Connor nodded no.

' _The last time I talked to her, the evening did not end that well...'_

He watched his dad face change. Saw more tension running through his jaws and his eyes became a bit darker.

Bass felt the start of familiar rage pumping through his veins.

Blue eyes met with his son's dark brown eyes, when Bass' irritation was now in Connor's face and eyes too. Connor let out a harsh breath when the energy in the room between both men almost exploded.

' _She knows.'_ Connor hissed at him.

' _What the hell is that supposed to mean?'_  Bass growled.

' _I told her.'_

' _Dammit Connor, what are you talking about?'_ Bass voice boomed trough Connor's living room.

' _I told her about the time you fucked her bitch mom.'_

Bass felt numb, a defeaning silence wheezing through his ears.

He was prepared for a lot of shit at this point, but not for this.

Bass blue eyes turned into a deep black, while he felt a panicked dark wild nausea in his gut, a coldness in his chest.

He was speechless. Locked eyes with his kid.

' _How?'_  He managed to get out in almost too low to hear growl.

' _I felt like a total asshole for not going with you to find Miles. Not for Miles, but for what Charlie did for the both of us in Vegas. So, I went after you guys. I found a trail and walked right into you and Rachel.. You both were too busy with your own shit to notice me.'_

Bass was back at that small creek, on that miserable day when his brother went missing. When Rachel had finally pushed all his buttons and he brought up a night they would had wanted to forget, because he had been sick with all her wining and bitching and her mother Theresa let's do the right thing attitude. He had thrown it in her face to remind her that she was not without fault either.

Fucking him that night, ending the world, messing around with Miles behind Ben's back.

The list was long.

' _You told her? You fucking told Charlie?'_

' _Hey, I was not the one doing all the fucking with her mom.'_  Connor bit back at him, pissed and frustrated at this whole conversation.

If Connor had not been his son, Bass would have broken his fucking neck.

When he regained some control he was able to talk again.

' _Why would you do that Connor?'_

Connor was surprised at the agony in his dad's voice. He had seen Charlie's reaction and now, in front of him there was somebody else who seemed to care too for a reason that Connor knew could be there. If he had not been sure, he was sure now. His dad cared. Charlie cared. She did sleep with a Monroe in Vegas, but Connor started to realise, she was not the Monroe she had wanted to be with. It hurt. That truth hurt.

' _I could not take it anymore dad. Rachel was constantly putting her claws in Miles. Always doing her best to make you look like the fucking bad guy. I met Charlie that night, after she had one particular messed up and frustrating evening with Rachel. And I just...I did not think about it, it just came out. I was drunk and I was just done with everybody believing that Rachel is always the precious saint.'_

Bass shook his head. He understood that part. But he had a feeling it was not the whole story.

' _That's not the only reason why you've told her this.'_  It was not a question.

' _You think telling Charlie this would improve your own changes at getting laid again huh?'_

Connor' face filled with rage again.

Bass knew he was right. Connor probably did care for Charlie, but he had also used it to get more.

' _You're an idiot son, and you are thinking with the wrong head. You just ended up hurting her.'_  Bass said roughly.

Fuck. He could only image what it must have been like for her, finding out about his. After every damn thing that had happened. After her accepting Miles.

Bass and Connor stared at each other. And then Bass turned away without talking. He shot his kid one more look.

Bass pulled his hand over his face. He let the fresh air hit his when he slammed the door of Connor's building shut behind him. Charlie had been walking around this for weeks, after his kid had been the one to tell her this. He should not have been the one.

He heard her answer again, when he had asked her last night what the hell was wrong with her.  _Nothing_  was wrong.  _Nothing_. Her eyes, everything had told him that something was wrong. She was hurt and pissed and had looked so damn lost.

Lost, hurt and pissed because she knew.

It came dangerously close to the way he had felt when he had walked into his kid and Charlie in Vegas.  _Fuck._

And through all the mess in his head, through the anger in his veins, there was one question that was in the back of his mind.

_Did she feel this way because..._ _Did she care?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, will be the one where it will be all Bass and Charlie. As always, I wanted to thank you all for your reviews for last chapter and reading this chapter! Until the next chapter, Love from Love


	6. The Answer

It had taken Bass exactly four minutes to make it over to her place. She was not home. He decided to wait. He did not give a damn if he would stand here the rest of the fucking day. He would wait for her.

He was still pissed as hell at Connor. He had just left his kid's place. He knew Connor would never hurt Charlie on purpose, , but his kid had hurt Charlie and if he had taken a moment to think things through, he would have figured that out, instead of thinking with the wrong head and using this to get her into his bed.

He had never told Charlie,  _hell_ , she would never believe him if he had, but he was more than the cold mask and the killer she had accused him off one day, so many years ago now. The moment she had showed up in Vegas, alone, he had known something was wrong. He had watched Charlie struggle, struggle with herself, and later with Rachel, with the old man, with the whole god damn world. He knew what she had lost, and maybe nobody else  _was_  fucking paying attention, he could sense her loneliness and the numb almost lost look in her eyes. She rarely showed that to anyone, but he had watched her,  _dammit_ , he had watched her so many times and he had seen it. How hard she had been trying to hide it from everybody and herself.

And now, she knew. She knew about that one night he had been trying to forget. Whiskey, a walk to her quarters, the both of them using that moment, using somebody to forget something that was hitting him so hard in the face that day, that he had made a fucking huge and fucking stupid mistake.

He knew it was the past, but he realised, for Charlie it was the present, for her to find out at this time in this way, could only mean betrayal. She had told him once about the endless fights between Ben and Rachel in one of those moments where Miles had gotten home and it was just him and her, some whiskey and hours way past midnight.

Moments where she had slowly started to open up, and told him things he doubted even Miles or Rachel knew. She had confided in him, and he had listened. It was all he could give to her and he had to control himself to not touch her cheek or move a lock of hair out of her face when she had looked so lost. It was like his damn hands just wanted, needed, to touch her.

So, he listened to her, listen to what she remembered. Even at her young age, she had felt what was going on and she had memories of that world, of her old home and her parents fighting when her brother had been sick. He remembered that girl. She was smart, and as stubborn as she was now. But there had also been something sad lingering in her young eyes. She grew up with fighting parents, to pressure of being young, strong and healthy, with Danny always so damn sick. She had to face the world after the blackout. Had to watch Rachel walk away, had to watch how Ben died, losing her father. She had found out the truth about the affair between Miles and Rachel not too long after they all came back from the war, but still she had found acceptance and was supporting both Miles and Rachel. And now, she had found out about that night, almost a decade ago.  _Fuck_.

So, he did not give a fuck if he would sit here all fucking day. He would wait for her. She probably told him to go to hell. But he would walk not away from this without a fight.

* * *

Charlie walked for hours after she had left Rachel behind at the friday market. She walked, not feeling the miles in her legs and feet, she just kept on moving. Lost in her own world, in her own thoughts and feelings. Connor had been right. One look at her mother and she had known. Every time a wave of anger had moved through her, another crashed over her again.

_Some night._

_Philly._

_Her mother and Monroe._

More images of them together.

_That day when she had to face Neville._

_Alone._

_And her mom, Monroe, after splitting up to desperately find Miles, had gone for another round._

And that last thought, infuriated her again. Confused her again.

When she was almost home, her mind on a bottle of booze she kept in her kitchen, she felt a little jolt in her chest when she saw how he was standing close to her front door, leaning against the wall, fidgeting with some dirt on the ground with his boot.

When she was almost at her front door, Monroe looked up. He pushed himself of the wall with one boot.

Charlie let out a huff of air, when the fresh anger was still there. She moved her eyes away from him and kept on walking.

Bass watched Charlie. He knew she was pissed. It was radiating of her. He swallowed something away.

' _Charlie, can we talk?'_

' _Not in the mood Monroe.'_

' _Connor told me what happened.'_ There was hesitation in his tone, his voice rough when Charlie heard he let a ragged breath out between his teeth.

He was direct, but it was the only way he could think of to break this open, to get a reaction from her.

He watched how Charlie froze for a second, how her fingers grabbed the keys of her apartment a little bit harder.

_'I just want you to hear me out. I am just asking for that and then you can kick me out. '_

Charlie did not look at him.

She heard no smugness, there was no arrogance. His voice was low, and if she did not know any better, he almost begged her to hear him out.

Bass watched Charlie, as he watched something change in her face. She put they keys in the lock before her, let out another sigh when she almost shook her head.

And then she opened the door and the smallest of nods from her told him he got his five minutes.

* * *

Charlie threw her keys on her kitchen table. She had just closed the door to her apartment and found herself in her living room with him, again.

She moved her arms before her chest. Tilting her head so she faced him head on.

Bass watched her firing blue eyes. She looked pissed.  _Good_ , he could work with pissed. Anything was better than silent shoving him away Charlie.

Charlie fought like hell when she had to, but more so when she wanted to, and if she was willing to fight right now meant that there could be something to fight for.

' _Why are you here?'_  Charlie asked, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

Her eyes crashed into his, challenging him, her anger so close to the surface.

' _I am here because I know Connor told you about that night in Philly. I am here to explain what happened.'_

' _Who says I want you to explain? Who says I care?'_  her words were so sharp. Too sharp.

His pursed his lips together, watched her intensely.

' _I think do you care, Charlie.'_

For a moment, Charlie wanted to throw something in his face, about being an arrogant ass, but instead she watched him. Blue meeting blue until the energy shifted.

Bass watched something change inside of her.

' _Fine,'_  she said flatly. Nodding at him.

He watched her, and realised this meant going back to that one night. The night , Miles had walked the hell out and had broken a promise he once made, decades ago.

' _Miles...He walked away. He turned his back on me, turned his back on the left the Republic. Left me with a gun in my face and an attempt on my life as a goodbye in the middle of the fucking night.'_

He watched the uncertainty in her eyes. God, there was so much she did not know. Maybe it was time she knew.

' _Things were shifting and the Republic was not what it was about when we first started it. God, Charlie, things moved so fast. One day I woke up, my best friend, my brother gone. Woke up to a life I barely recognised as my own.'_

He watched Charlie, her eyes had been on him for a moment, and he knew she was listening. He was back in Philly, back in his old office, back in the hallways he had walked through so many times. He could almost picture Miles at this desk again, whiskey in hands, both of them talking, joking around.

'  _Your mom...one day she showed up in Philly_.  _Both Miles and I had decided we could not let her go, after she showed up instead of Ben. She knew too much. What started as a way of wanting the power back to restore some god damn civilisation turned out into years of holding her.'_

He moved a hand over his scruff. ' _When he left I went over to tell your mom._ '

Bass locked his jaws. Fuck, this was hard. Telling her this. But she had to know the whole story.

' _I was already wasted, I could not believe Miles had actually left me alone to deal with all that bullshit. After he promised me, we were in this messed up bullshit together.'_

Charlie closed her eyes. Hearing his side of the story was painful to hear. She had always put so much faith in Miles, not second guessing his actions, but right then and there, she realised, her uncle was not the only one hurting and Monroe was not the only one with history, filled with regret and dark memories and things left in the dark.

' _I went to Rachel's quarters, told her Miles left and...we both did something really stupid Charlie. We were hurt, we started drinking, drank some more and then...I guess we both were too god damn wasted and wanted to find something to get us through that night.'_

Charlie forced herself to listen to his story, when images formed in her mind that brought a bitter taste in the back of her throat. She took a deep breath of air to push it away.

The sounds from outside reached her apartment. When Charlie finally spoke, her voice was hoarse.

' _You had an affair?'_

' _No,_ ' Bass said determined,  _'It happened only one night, and there was a damn good reason why it only stayed one night.'_

The strong way in which he spoke those words, broke something open in Charlie. One night. It had been only one night.

' _But my dad, he was still out there. Miles, she must still had feelings for him?'_ Charlie said, sounded both confused and hurt.

' _Yes,'_ Bass answered, the truth cut through him like a sharp piece of glass, ' _Again, Charlie, like I said. It was only one stupid drunk night. It meant nothing. There was nothing between Rachel and me, not the way you might think there was.'_

Charlie's view of the past got mixed up, with every piece of new information Bass gave her. This was new. Miles never talked about that past. Her mother never did. But here he was, talking, answering her questions.

But then, she remembered more of Connor's words. He had told her he had walked into her mother and Monroe that day. A new wave of anger lit up inside of her.

' _What about that day that Miles went missing?'_ her words were fuelled with new anger.

 _Fuck, this was torture with no end, Bas_ s thought.

' _After we split up, your mom choose that afternoon to have a little contest of who knows Miles best. I was fucking done with her. Needed to find Miles. I was done listening to her whining, to her talking about doing what is right and how I was the big old devil on his shoulder.'_

Charlie was back in the kitchen of her grandpa's house, when she just came back to Willoughby with him. She had told her mother almost the same thing... _that she was always right.._. and she understood. She had watched Monroe, Miles, her mom. She had heard her mother talk about the right thing over and over, when Charlie had been so frustrated that this was not about them, this about what was happening out there. War. Patriots. People getting killed. This was about more than her mother's crusade against one man and her own thoughs.

She understood what he was talking about.

Bass continued _. 'We got into one hell of an argument, and I was so done with her acting like Mother Theresa .I threw that night in her face to remind her she was really not the one to talk about doing what is right. When she accused me of forcing her I was not going to take that from her. She slapped me right in the face and I almost lost it.'_

Bass felt the frustrated rage again, when Rachel had been in his fucking face with the whole  _you are dragging Miles into the mud with you_  speech. He had wanted to hurt her, snap her damn neck. Anything. But then he had realised he would give her exactly what she had wanted and he had just let a huff of sharp air. He had controlled himself, and had walked away from her. Grabbed his pack and had walked the hell away. They had not shared one word for the rest of the next hour and he had just wanted one thing. Finding his brother.

She could go to hell.

' _I did not split up that day so you could go for another round with my mom.'_ Her words were filled with fire, and she almost hissed those words.

Guilt started to rip through his chest. He knew what happened there. Charlie had never told him. He had met her again at their rendezvous point, her face in a straight line, but something stormy in her eyes he could not place. She had been silent the whole way back to camp. Connor had been there to listen to her, to what happened to her. She had trusted his kid with that and he had felt a sharp blow in his gut, wanting that person to be him. His kid informed him about Neville finding Charlie that night around a campfire, Charlie asleep at another campfire, a bit further away in their camp. He had cursed himself for letting her go alone. She could take of herself, he knew that.

But against Neville, fuck. He should have been there.

' _You have any idea what happened? What it was like to stand there in front of Neville...his gun...'_  she had trouble catching her next breath, as something heavy moved on her chest at the memory of every cell in her body screaming she wanted to live, that she did not wanted to die. She could still hear the sound of the click of his gun when it had been connected with her temple.

_Fuck, seeing her like this, was bringing him to his god damn knees._

Bass watched her struggle, he saw how her tears finally broke loose. He could not watch her, not like this, not without wanting to pull her against her chest, pick her up and shield her from every fucked up thing out there.

He had been fighting to touch her, to comfort her, to feel her so damn close. But now, he gave in. He did not give a fuck. There was nothing left to lose.

He moved over to her, slowly cupping her head in his hands. He felt her tears on his skin, while he felt the warm and soft skin of her neck and her pulse against his skin.

For one second she bowed her head, the weight of her head and her memories in his hands.

Then, she pushed him away, breaking herself away from his touch. She turned away from him.

' _So, you and my mom. That is going nowhere?'_

Charlie hated how insecure she sounded. Her mind had gone to many scenario's, and the more she had thought about it, the more crazy roads her thoughts had taken her, ending up at this possibility.

Bass let out a huff of air. The whole idea of him and Rachel together was just too damn hilarious.

' _I know she is your mom Charlie, but I think she can be a stone cold bitch. We used to be friends, one fucking world ago, and I know Miles loves her. But no, hell no.' 'It was just one night, meaningless.'_

He watched how Charlie straightened her shoulders.

' _You never had one of those?'_  Now his words were sharp, almost pissed.

_Vegas. Connor._

She knew. He knew. They both knew what they were talking about.

He watched something fall over her eyes. But he had to ask, he had to know. If he was doing this, he was going all in.

' _What happened there, Charlie? I really thought..._ ' he looked away from her for a moment, and Charlie watched the same hurt look in his eyes as he had when she had walked up to him when she had finished getting dressed again around that campfire in Vegas.  _'I really thought that you and I, we were going somewhere._

The idea was so fucked up, but having her around became so normal, so fast. They fought together, spend time on the road together, shared looks, shared touches.

' _We were'_. Charlie said slowly.

Bass looked at her in shock. His eyes wide, something pounding in his chest.

She had left Bass behind at Duncan's tent. She had walked next to Connor, listened to him flirting his ass off. They had made a fire. And the thought of Bass, walking into Vegas again with him, his arm so close it had brushed against her had been so overwhelming, she did not understand what he broke loose in her. Something had changed. Sometimes should not have changed. She could not feel this. Not after everything. He had looked at her, before they had entered the tent, right before they would meet Gould. She had asked him about some guy that had been playing a guitar and singing, he had answered her. But his eyes,  _oh god_ , his eyes that locked with hers, with his energy, the way he had looked at her. But she could not feel this. She could not want him. So when Connor was there,  _flirting, easy, light_ , she had made a move to silence and kill everything inside she did not want to feel. When she sat down in front of him at a bar in town later, his eyes deep and hurt and taking her all in, she knew her craving for him, to explore him, to want him, was still there.

' _You...we could not... I could not...'_ she looked at him, as she tried to tell him whey she had done what she had done. Why she understood about moments and nights she wanted to take back.

Finally, Bass understood. She had saved his ass, twice.  _The execution. The cage fight._ But to give him more, after their history, after everything he was involved in, in taking from her, she had hit the brakes. Pushed him out by giving a piece of herself to Connor that still pissed him off. She had wanted to push him away. She had succeeded.

He had pushed her away too, had been crude.

He had been fighting with her, had went through days with her around him, but their old connection had been gone.

But, he swore, he wanted her. And now he knew he was not alone, that this, whatever this between them was not one of his delusional thoughts, he would not let her go, he would not let her push him away again.

' _Charlie, if there is any change that this, whatever the fuck this is, could be real, I am not walking the fuck away from this. I am not walking away from you.'_ His was rough, his eyes almost dark.

Finally, she turned her head his way. Her back still towards him. Shocked at his words. Touched that somebody was fighting so hard for her. Overwhelmed by something she could not deny anymore. Overwhelmed by the truth.

' _Should I walk away from this?'_  Bass asked her, he stepped closer to her.

Charlie felt his breath and his eyes so very on her. He was standing behind her, her shoulder now against his chest.

Slowly he nuzzled her hair with his nose.

He was tall, broad shoulders, leather jacket, blue eyes. She felt a tremble going through her when she knew, finally allowed herself to know for sure, that he should not walk away. When she finally felt his body so close to hers. His force, his warm breath against her ear.

Blue eyes, the grey veil of tears in them, her cheeks full of the little paths her tears made. Those eyes looked up at him. Her mouth was slightly open, her warm red lips smooth and lush. Bass watched the tremble in her hands.

And when she moved forward, when she closed the distance, when she her eyes were locking with his.

Something locked between them.

She was standing so damn close, and in her eyes he watched found the answer.

Charlie watched him, as she moved towards him. She reached out for him, standing on her toes. She felt the scruff of his beard against her skin. And then, she felt his lips. At the same moment she let a breath escape from her mouth, she felt the pressure of his lips crash down on her.

 _Sebastian Monroe was kissing her. Bass was kissing her._ She felt dizzy as the rest of the world did not matter anymore. She felt him ,she tasted him. She craved him as she felt his body hard and strong behind her.

Bass watched how Charlie let her body fall against his. They had stood close like this before. But now, her eyes closed as she closed the last remaining distance between them. He felt her lips against his beard, he felt her lips on his lips.

 _Charlie Matheson was letting him in._ Bass moved her mouth over hers, as he moved one arm around her back and he finally knew what it was like to have her in his arms. Screw the rest of the world. He intensified the kiss, as he felt how Charlie leaned into his chest and there was only her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter I have been working towards, and every emotion and memory and doubt build up to this. I know...I have stopped there, and you, and me too, need more, need to know what will be next...but this was just a significant moment between the both of them. Allowing each other in, finally being able to feel the other in every way. I wanted to pause right here at that moment.
> 
> You might have noticed there is a lot from Bass' point of view in this story, but I really wanted to try and explore more of him in this story. Thanks for reading! Love from Love


	7. Together

When their kiss intensified, their heartbeats picked up and their breaths got entangled in one warm embrace, Charlie moved in closer to Bass. One of his hands was still on her lower back. It felt steady, and warm and strong. His other hand moved to her neck, fingers flowing over her skin there, waking up every inch of her smooth tanned neck.

She felt how he moved in a slow pace, and his calloused long fingers trailed over her neck. Over her jaw. She seemed to move into him completely.

Their mouths exploring, tongues meeting, their bodies started to move to each other, in one big wave. Bass felt the almost satin touch of her blonde locks against his fingers, he felt the smooth yet strong curves of her body against him. His body was craving more of her, as he slowly took her mouth and her warmth.

He slowed the kiss down, although he really fucking did not want to do that. But Charlie, she was strength, and loyalty, and stubborn resilience. She was not some quick screw, in a long lines of long forgotten name, forgotten faces and anonymous fucks. This, whatever the hell this was, was different. But  _dammit_ , he wanted her.

Bass moved his tongue over her lips, kissed her lips one more time, brought the kiss almost to a stop, before he took her mouth one more time, playing with the rhythm.

Charlie had her eyes closed. His lips were discovering every part of hers, with aim and determination and it was slowly moving her into a place where she wanted to rub and push herself against him forcefully, feel him, all of him. He tasted so manly, his breath so hot. But when he slowed down the kiss, she let him. She let him guide her, she moved with him.

She knew what it was like to lose herself for a moment, for a night, in an hour of quick, disconnected sex. But this, with him, it was different. She wanted him, needed him, every part of him, but when he slowed down, it was good. This was different.

And when she opened her eyes, she found endless blue. She watched his scruff, the lines of his jaw. Endless blue with gentleness.

And she finally realised, that today, she got another answer. The answer to the question what she had seen in his eyes that day in that abandoned high school.

She had seen something of what they could be.

That gentle endless blue was now there again, but it did not disappear. It was not broken with another threat.

They watched each other, in a silent living room. There was a small shiver going through Charlie, and Bass took one of her hands in his.

 _Dammit_ , her fingers felt cold. Too cold. They had been standing here a long time, without even noticing. The sun had started to set, shadows started to grow larger in her room.

' _Let's get a fire going.'_  His voice was broken with a husky rasp.

Before Charlie could not nod, Bass already had passed her. He got out of his jacket, tossed it over a chair in a corner and grabbed some wood Charlie kept next to her fireplace.

Bass moved the logs so he could make a decent fire, when he felt Charlie's eyes on him. He could still taste her, and he could use the space to keep his resolution of not pushing things. He needed that space so his hard on got that message too.

Charlie felt a strange calmness coming over her. The past weeks had been chaos, had been filled with so much disappointment and betrayed hurt and not understanding. Of not making sense. And now there was this weird calm, that silenced that, but that had also made her shiver from all those emotions. She sat down on her couch, that was closely placed to the fire.

They all had spent many years on the road, but this was the first time, anyone took the time to explain things to her. And now it was Bass, Monroe...no..Bass who had given her that simple sense of calm. He had given her a new perspective. It was not easy, it was messed up and changed the way she thought about her mother. Again. Changed her perspective on Bass in a different way. Made her understand that Miles, had left Bass.

 _Miles._ One piece of the chaos she had not figured out.

' _Does he know?'_

His answer took her completely by surprise.

' _Yes,'_  Bass looked at her, nodded,  _'yes, Miles knows.'_

' _You told him?_ '

Bass leaned into the fireplace with one hand. His eyes now on the fire, the room around them finally moving away from the cold chill from this late afternoon.

' _When we came back from the war, after I knew what it was to fight next to Miles again, I realised that maybe not everything between him and me went to hell.'_

Bass went back to that night, in front of a simple tent. It was cold, a bright night, when the camp was slowing down for the night. Many more rangers were sitting around other fires, with drinks, simple food and each other's company after a long and hard war. He, and Miles, had felt the shift weeks ago, knowing with their experience that they would take this. That they would win this.

' _I told him about that night. Told him how fucking stupid it was. Told him it should not have happened. Put all the bullshit right there in the open.'_

He remembered Miles face, he watched his brother. Expecting a lot. A punch in the face, a knife against his neck. But Miles  _had_  looked pissed and  _had_  told him something like  _yeah, I kind of was afraid this shit would eventually come out._ Bass had looked in disbelieve at his brother. Things had been kind of really fucking uncomfortable for a couple of days but there were no punches, no other bullshit. And then, Miles had told him he was too old for this drama, and if it was in the past, it was in the past. He did not know if Miles ever talked about it with Rachel, and he did not give a shit. This was between him and Miles.

' _But he also told me that if I ever left you the hell alone when he was busy trying really hard not to die in some shithole, he would hurt me, in any nice and slow way he could think off.'_

Charlie smiled, and he heard the sound of her bright laughter for a second.

' _And then the dickhead did punch me.'_

When Bass smiled back at her, it warmed up her whole chest.

' _You really want to make this work.'_ She did not ask, she just realised the truth in those words.

' _I do, Charlotte.'_  He looked to the ground before him, swallowed heavily.

And then he looked at her again. And for the first time he saw understanding in her eyes. Not pity, but understanding.

' _I do.'_ His voice raspy and low again.

There was a vulnerability in his words. And Charlie realised, Bass would still give his life for her uncle, he would still not turn his back on him. After everything that had happened, everything all that life threw in their way, after Miles had turned his back on him and left the Republic, and most of all on him, she understood that now,  _him too,_  they were still brothers.

She pushed herself off the couch and walked over to him. She placed a hand on his upper arm. She felt how Bass put a wild lock of hair between his fingers, and how he kept his fingers still, his eyes gentle, but then they became filled with a blue intensity.

Bass played with a lock of her hair, a deep breath from his chest.

' _I should have never left you that afternoon, knowing Neville was around. I'm sorry, Charlie.'_

She watched his eyes and face darken.

She nodded.

' _Thank you, Bass.'_  It was almost a whisper, coming through warm breath from her mouth.

Then she felt her breath escape from her chest.

' _I'm sorry too. Sorry for pushing you away before I could let you closer.'_

 _Fuck..this woman.._ This time only Bass nodded. Moved by her strength, by her willing to look at herself, to look at him.

And then their eyes found each other. The fire was burning close to them, inside of them. His chin was on her head. She buried her face into his chest.

She felt his strong and hard body, the warmth of the fire comforting and close, the sounds the wood and the flames made a steady rhythm.

She let a man hold her, for the very first time.

' _I want you. You Bass.'_

He knew what she was asking for.

He pulled her close, one hand moving from her back to her ass, the other shoving her into his chest. Fuck, she felt so good. She fitted completely against his body and this time, when their lips met, they both realised what was going to happen. And that they were ready.

Bass slowly turned her around.

Charlie held in a deep breath when his fingers started to move over her neck and shoulder.

Bass hands slowly started to work on the strap of her tank and bra. With a small nod, Charlie giving him permission and one hell of a view that made his dick hard. Charlie felt the change in his body, felt his hardness against her lower back and she realised how addictive this was.

This slow pull into him. This slow build of tension between her legs. Bass arms were all around her.

 _Fuck_ , she completely disappeared into him. Something twitched in his pants.

He slowly pulled the hem of her tank higher. Moved the tank over her head. Moved one arm over her smooth stomach, the other over one of her breasts.

Charlie heard his breath in her ear. Shit, it was so incredibly hot. He was taking his time.

She turned around, started working on his shirt. Dropped it to the ground. He moved closer to her, and watched how her eyes followed the lines of his chest. Charlie moved her eyes over the every muscle, every piece of skin and when she placed a warm kiss on his chest. Bass let out a sharp breath at the sight of Charlie before him, at her lips touching his chest. Her hair that was brushing his skin, her hair that moved between his fingers now.

Bass decided he loved the look of her breasts in her bra, and he slowly started to work on her thighs, hips and ass. He turned her around again, so she was back against his back, before his hands moved to the button of her jeans.

' _You are beautiful Charlie,_ ' At the same time he slipped his fingers into her pants. His fingers touched the fabric of her black panties, but it was enough to get a deep moan from her. She pushed herself back into his cock with her back.

' _Fuck_.' Bass cursed, a rush of raw lust shooting through groin. He felt how wet she was,  _for him,_  even through her panties.

Charlie felt the pressure of his touch, as Bass started to suck on her neck. Then she felt his eyes on her. More wetness. She bit her lip, overwhelmed by another moan that was about to escape.

He lifted her from the floor, her back still against his chest. Moving her into the other room. He stopped before her bed. Placing her with her knees on the edge, keeping her upper body close to his.

Her pants were taken off by him, her panties still on her smooth hips. And then, he took off her boots. Kisses between her shoulder blades. She heard the sound of his pants, she heard the fabric reaching the ground. More kisses, his boots off.

And then, Bass was all around her, demanding that she tilted her head, demanding her mouth with his. Deep kisses. Rough kisses.

And his long fingers, his strong hand moved into her panties. She almost screamed when he slipped between her sensitive and wet skin.

Her body was quickly feeling like there were no muscles at all, and Bass held her in his arms, keeping her in place, not allowing her to move away from him anymore. He teased her, rubbed her, started to make smooth circles as he pressed his hardness against her.

She came crashing into his chest with her back, her thighs pressed against his hand, when he was inside of her and around her with his palm.

Charlie closed her eyes, took in his scent, felt his long fingers everywhere. Her body exploded.

' _Bass!_ ' She screamed, she moaned.

She felt Bass harsh breathing against his ear and Bass could only feel her, watch her, as Charlie came in his arms, with his touch, with his name in a scream of lust.

He flipped her over, moved her on the bed, her breathing fast, his dick hard.

He placed his hands on either side of her, as Charlie wrapped her arms around her. She moved her hips, his dick between them. She watched him.

Both breathless, both staring. And then, she watched the shift in him. Bass looked at her with hunger, with strength, with his blue crashing into hers before he crashed into her.

Bass felt the warmth radiating from her against him first. She was warm, and wet _, and fuck_...he pushed in, she was so thigh. Pressure around his cock, a deep groan rumbling from the back of his throat as Charlie closed her eyes and moaned something when he was completely inside of her.

He pulled back.

Watched her.

And buried himself inside of her again.

And when he was inside of her, when her body was meeting him with every time he buried himself inside of her again, he asked her again.

' _Who do you want, Charlie...tell me baby...'_

' _You Bass, you...'_  her whisper got stretched out into a long breath when he pushed into that one sweet spot inside of her.

Bass covered every inch of her body with his.

' _God, I swear Charlie, I want you...you...'_

Charlie screamed out his name when another orgasm was about to hit her, when he was pumping inside of her in a sweet rhythm, he wanted her _. Her._ And he was showing it with every push inside of her, with every kiss, with every time she felt his muscles work above her.

His words moved into a hoarse groan, when her name was on his mind, and with one groan he felt how her spasms pushed him over with her. They both got lost in each other, as Charlie felt bliss and lust and tears when another orgasm was hitting her, taken her, moving her in his arms and it was his husk voice that calmed her down, with him close, inside of her, with her.

It had taken them both a really long time.

It had taken them both on a long road.

But here, on this day, they both knew.

They both felt it.

She wanted him.  _Bass._

He wanted her.  _Charlie_.

                                          They wanted each other with a force that nobody or nothing could stop from the very start.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miles? He already knew. In other stories I have written, there was a confrontation, but this time I wanted to go for a different angle. Of course, Miles is not at all happy with that part of their past, but they are brothers, and he has a past too. I choose the foundation between them from the past to get them through this, I choose the path of Miles coming to terms with this. Leaving it in the past, moving on, being brothers..
> 
> Thank you for your super reviews for last chapter. I took me a lot of energy, there was so much to cover. And your reviews, they made my day. Thank you! Join me for another chapter soon? It will be the epilogue, and a chapter where Bass and Charlie will take another step closer. Love from Love


	8. Epilogue

Charlie had a long behind her. There were days where the practice was quiet, but this week, patients had just walked in nonstop. She was tired and she felt it in her muscles. But that was not the only thing on her mind.

It had been three months since Bass showed her what surrender in a man's arms could mean. It had been three months since the truth came out. Since answers were given.

Since she knew how he tasted, how his scent was close to her. How he looked waking up in her bed. To feel his arms around her when she let go. To dig her fingers into his chest. To wake up on that chest, rising with each of Bass' breaths.

They had both decided to keep what was happening , between them for now. They wanted time and space to work this out. To keep it as their moments. There were two exceptions.

Connor knew. Bass had told him, and told him immediately he was not going to take any of his shit on this. Connor had been pissed at first, but had moved on with a brunette soon after, the one Bass found him with that morning when he had walked over to Connor to ask if he knew what was going on with Charlie. So, in the end, Connor was not really that heartbroken, in fact, his kid was enjoying the good life. Altough Bass hoped this girl was not going to end up as something permanent, because she was not really the smartest girl in the history of ever.

The other one who knew was Miles.

Both Charlie and Bass had wanted to tell Miles about them. Charlie had walked to Miles, told him that what was going on between Bass and her was none of his business and that she was not asking his permission or anything. But they did not want to go behind his back.

When Miles had started to take a giant step towards Bass, Charlie had interfered. Placing herself between Bass and Miles like on the first day she had brought Bass back, and Miles was ready to beat the shit out of him. Later, Bass told Charlie she had been amazing, with pride in his eyes, a grin on his face when his hand had already been disappearing under her tank.

Miles would groan in pain when Bass was too close to Charlie. But he tried to make an effort to ignore that his niece had chosen that moron, and Bass made an effort to not let his hand glide to Charlie's ass when Miles was close.

When it came to her mom, Charlie knew that they eventually had to tell her. She had talked to her mom, well talked was maybe not the right word. She had raised her voice, let all the old hurt out and told her mom that if she was not at least willing to look at her own part in all of this, she would not see a whole lot of her anymore. Rachel had nodded, Charlie had left. Things between them were far from good, but that had started on the day Rachel had made a decision on that small path under the trees when she was ten. Although Charlie was still not able to make her mother see just that.

Maybe, this, could be the thing that would give them a new step towards something more solid. Maybe not. Time would tell.

Charlie tilted her head towards the last sunlight. Her thoughts were with him. With Bass. Something was different the past week. He was more quiet, he drank more. Something was wrong.

She was lost in thought when she heard footsteps. She looked up and looked into dark eyes and brown hair. Eyes she knew so well.  _Miles._

His eyes were not completely at ease, as was his whole body language. Charlie looked at him, with a question in her eyes.

' _Hey kid, mind if I join you there?'_

* * *

His arms on his elbows, a bottle of a strong painkiller in his hand. Although the bottle was halfway gone, the pain, the faces and the blunt all consuming hurt hadn't.

Bass was staring into a whole lot of nothing. And he could see them. He could see them all. So close, he could touch them. Another gulp of whiskey, another memory haunting him.

The night was pressing on him, and was silent. He pulled a hand over his face.

There was a knock on the door.

' _Go away.'_  He groaned. Drunk. Miserable.

Another knock.

He dragged himself on his feet and opened the god damn door.

He looked directly in the face of Charlie. He leaned into the doorway. His long arm next to his body, with the bottle in his hand. He looked at the ground before him, unable to watch her face. Unable to meet her eyes. Unable to let something get through the dark cloud of misery around him. He couldn't.

Charlie walked into his apartment. He closed the door behind him, and walked back to his place on the couch. Bottle still in his hand.

It was dark, and Charlie felt the heavy energy in the room, the hollowness in Bass' s eyes, staring. His lips on the bottle again. He looked terrible, miserable. She could smell the whiskey on his breath, all around him. Her heart ached for him.

' _Miles told me Bass.'_

 _S_ he sat down next to him.

Watched his face change with a bitter movement around his lips. A bitter huff of air escaping from his lips.

He gave her the bottle. She accepted it. Let the drink burn in the throat. Gave him the bottle back.

He had spent this day, reliving that day in the past, in many different ways. With Miles. At base when they were still Marines. He never went back though. Couldn't. Always with company and booze. He had just wanted to get lost in it all, but Miles would never let him.

Then later, this day had been a day he struggled through on the road. Lost in a landscape and in endless days on the road in those years after the blackout. Then, much later, as he was president, he spent this day pulled back in dark grieve. He tried not too, filling his days with hunger for more control, for more land, for more power. And when Miles had left him, and when that day found him each year, there had been more whores and more booze.

Losing them, was a scar that never healed, but on this day, the day that was their last, that scar felt like it was put inside of him all over again. It had crept up on him the past few days, and he had started to lose himself in that dark pool again. He felt like a total asshole for pushing her away. But the dark grieve was pulling him in again.

Charlie watched Bass. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder on his couch.

Miles had taken his time, when he had sat down on the steps next to her earlier that night. Clearly not comfortable. And then, he had started talking. Talked about Jasper, about Bass' family. His father, his mom, his two younger sisters. He had talked about that one day, where he had lost his family. All of them. One crash, all of them gone. How he had sat down next to his brother on the way home. Charlie had heard the raw agony in her uncle's voice as Miles had tried to control it.

And then, Miles had mentioned the date. And all the pieces fell together. Bass' face, his moodiness. He was not being an ass, he was in pain. They had both sat down in silence, stared in front of them. Charlie was taking in the massive loss Bass had suffered. One moment, everyone gone. Him being the only one left. Nobody there to remember you, to care for you. She had gotten up, and told Miles she had to go. He had nodded at her, understanding.

 _Proud_.

Proud that Charlie, was able to give something of herself after all she had been through. It sure as hell was something he had not been able to do for so long. And Miles knew, he would never be like her, never be so damn strong. Miles knew, Bass would not be alone tonight. He watched his niece walk away. Her shoulders straight, last light of this day dancing on her hair. Miles knew, his brother would be all right. Because she would be there, his thoughts with his little brother. He would check on them both later.

Bass would not look at her.

He felt her warmth against his side.

' _I'm so sorry Bass...'_  She moved her hand over his. Her soft skin over his large hand. ' _So sorry..'_

He knew loss too. Knew the raw edges, the endless pain. She fully felt that now. She never heard anyone talk about his family and now she had understood why.

When she touched him, she felt how his breath slowed down inside his lunges. He froze. So she did not move either. Her hand still on his.

Bass could not believe the fuck what he was hearing, even through his drunken haze, her words were breaking through the endless misery. He tried to control it, but his breath came out in a sharp release.

She did not speak anymore. Just sat there, next to him.

Stars appeared outside, it was getting late. The sun had gone down, and Bass was still staring, but was not moving his hand away from hers.

' _Miles told me about your mom and dad, that you have two sisters...want to tell me about them?'_  Her voice gentle.

Bass looked at her like she had completely lost her mind. Nobody ever fucking asked about him, nobody every seemed to care about people he had to leave behind.

 _C_ harlie felt him tense up under his touch _. Shit_ , she was afraid she had asked the wrong question.

But then he relaxed and after what felt forever, he started to speak.

' _My old man let me help him with restoring this old car he had bought,'_  his voice broke, he took another breath, another gulp of booze before he continued, _'it was just him and me in that old garage...'_

Bass talked. Charlie listened. He told her about days in the past, that felt a world away. He told her about his dad, his living mom, how Miles had been part of his family. About two young girls, his little sisters, who he loved and was a big brother for.

Bass told her more about her family, more about memories he had not shared with anyone for so long. Memories that only he remembered now, maybe Miles too. But most of it, was only for him to remember. There was nobody else around anymore.

' _...Angela came home, found Cynthia with a mascara or whatever in her hands and they were in the middle of a which make up belongs to who discussion under a minute...'_

Charlie smiled, and then she stopped. She watched how Bass' eyes filled with tears. Silent, raw tears. His fingers held onto the bottle in his hand when he felt fucking pathetic for not being able to stop those damn tears. God, he missed them, they were so sweet, his little sisters. So young, so beautiful, so... He put his hand over his face.

Charlie moved slowly. She held on to the bottle, slowly removing it from his hands. Placing it on the table. Watched Bass' tears, who were now running over his cheeks. Her hand went to his shoulder.

Bass ran a hand over his face again in a last fucking miserable attempt to try to stop all of this bullshit. He almost pushed Charlie away, but then there was another hand. This time around his shoulder.

And then Charlie heard him break down, when he unfroze and she guided him towards her.

She held him. Held him more. Her head leaning against his strong upper arm.

She had broken through. Bass finally moved, pulled her against him, and let his face disappear into her neck and sweet comfort.

And that night, when the sun had set and the night was still young, on a simple couch in his appartment, Bass and Charlie both moved into something else. Something more vulnerable, and difficult, and raw. Something honest and that would lead them to fighting about stupid things, about big things. That moved them to a place of love, to a place where Charlie would say she loved a man for the very first time. To a place where he whispered in her ear how much he loved her.

His mother had once said that life always finds a way to move on.

And when he would look at his daughter, pink and soft and safely in his arms, born on a november day one year from that day on the couch where he said his sisters'names out loud for the first time in years, Bass had known that his mother had been right.

They moved on, and created a family where Bass could teach his son things with patience and pride, a family where his daughters would fight over other girl things. A family he would raise and protect with Charlie.

And with Miles, who became babysitter of the year and enjoyed seeing his kids grow up, as much as he did.

After a piece of the past had worked its way to the present, Charlie had been hurt, and disappointed and angry and stubborn. Bass had not been ready to walk away from her.

It was hard, and chaotic, but now they both knew now for sure.

And every time they made love..

.. every time she walked past him on a simple Wednesday morning and he would look at her with deep blue eyes, the lines in his skin close to his eyes that were so very much him and a grin on his face before his eyes would move on to her ass and she rolled her eyes at him..

.. every time Charlie would be in his face, telling her exactly how stupid he was for a number of things

... every time she was on top of him, surrendering to their passionate rhythm under covers on a summer night..

they told each other the answer to that one question.

_Who do you really want._

The answer for them was simple.

And there was nothing or no one from the past or in the future who would come between that.

Charlie Matheson and Bass Monroe would not let it come between them.

After all, they fight for who they really want.

_The end_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ''Life always finds a way to move on...''
> 
> Attraction, tension, eyelocks..it is all so strong. But then something else happened, opening them up for so much more. So so so strong too!
> 
> Thanks for reading this story, for all your kind reviews and other ways of telling me how much you appreciated this story. I will work on Cupid now, and I hope to meet you there. Thanks again for you support and feedback, you are all amazing!
> 
> Love from Love


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